Keeping Calm When Everything Is Stressful

Emotions have power.

Some people, when faced with enormous stress and pressure, shut down or lash out, destroying relationships and burning bridges as they go.

If you’ve ever driven down the highway or any busy street in a major city, you may have encountered a hothead like this. You know the type. They honk behind you because driving the speed limit is too slow, then weave around your car while simultaneously shouting profanities and angry glances your way.

Meanwhile, there’s the other type – people who have the ability to keep a cool head and move the situation forward.

I’d rather be the latter.

John Locke has a quote that says, “What worries you, masters you.”

Moving from place to place as a child, attending a highly competitive university, and experiencing betrayal has put me through a rollercoaster of emotions. There have been feelings of depression, feelings of hopelessness, and stress that seemed beyond what I could conquer. But here I am, standing on the other side, and so happy to be.

There’s one thing I remember when I feel my temper rising that has saved me from numerous meltdowns with students, my parents, and loved ones.

When someone interrupts me while I’m stress-typing an email that’s time-sensitive, or when someone – yet again – leaves an empty plastic bag on the counter instead of putting it away, I remember that feelings are not facts. Just because we feel angry, disappointed, or afraid, doesn’t mean we have to react. The world isn’t ending.

Actually, something interesting I’ve noticed is that right on the brink of having major breakthroughs in life, you could feel downright terrible and terrified.

I’ve learned that when something feels nerve-racking or distressing, I can acknowledge my emotions, choose how to perceive the situation, and act. I can look at where I’m at and remember where I want to go.

When dealing with high achieving students who have faced a setback… students who seem to have it all…grades, extra-curriculars, community involvement … and seeing them run into obstacles or roadblocks, it makes you realize what REALLY matters, how to focus on the big picture, and keep going.